WHAT TO EXPECT & HOW TO COPE
A traumatic event such as the April 16th shootings on the Virginia Tech campus can have a wide range of effects on individuals, families, and the larger community. This information is being provided to assist students, so that they can know what kinds of emotional and behavioral reactions to expect, understand what is normal, and know when to seek help.
The most important thing to remember is that what you are feeling and experiencing is a normal reaction to an abnormal event. You will notice a range of reactions in yourself, your friends, your family members, and your teachers. Some will be frightened, have trouble eating or sleeping, appear sad or depressed, while others will appear not to be outwardly affected. Some will seem stressed right away, while others may seem fine and experience signs of stress weeks or even months after the event. Your parents, of course, are likely to be frightened, worried, and concerned for your continued safety on campus. By knowing what kinds of reactions to expect, you can be pro-active in coping with this stress, and helpful to others.
Many factors influence how severely a person may be affected by an event like this. An individual’s proximity to or involvement in the event, knowledge of others who were affected, and the amount of disruption to routine activities and social support all influence the impact of a traumatic event on an individual. An individual’s prior history of emotional problems or trauma may also influence his/her reactions to this event.
Normal Reactions to Disaster-Related Stress
The reactions listed below are signs of stress commonly experienced by people who have been through a traumatic event.* They are not, in themselves, indicators of long-term emotional or mental problems. For many people, these reactions will subside in a few days or weeks.
Physical. Chills, fatigue, nausea, fainting, twitches, vomiting, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, headaches, elevated blood pressure, rapid hear rate, muscle tremors, shock symptoms, grinding of teeth, visual difficulties, profuse sweating, difficulty breathing.
Mental. Confusion, nightmares, uncertainty, heightened alertness, suspiciousness, intrusive thoughts or images, blaming, poor problem solving, difficulty concentrating, memory difficulties.
Emotional. Fear, guilt, grief, panic, denial, anxiety, agitation, irritability, depression, anger, worry, shock or being emotionally numb, feeling overwhelmed, loss of emotional control, inappropriate or unexpected emotional responses (outbursts of crying, anger, or being startled).
Behavioral. Withdrawal from others, difficulty sleeping, pacing, restlessness, changes in social activities, loss or increase in appetite, increased alcohol consumption, changes in one’s usual ways of communicating or talking.
Even though these reactions are normal and usually temporary, getting help can assist people in managing their feelings and finding healthy ways to cope. A list of local resources is provided below.
What You Can Do for Yourself
Do:
- Remind yourself that your feelings are normal, even if they are different from other people’s.
- Talk to friends, family, and others in your support network. Don’t be worried that they will get tired of hearing you. Ask for what you need.
- Find some balance – feel your feelings, but don’t obsess about them; listen to the news, but turn it off once in awhile; talk about the event, but also engage in other activities not related to it.
- Maintain some sense of a normal routine if possible
- Be around people, places, and things that are familiar and help you feel secure
- Establish healthy boundaries for yourself. If people around you are saying things that make you feel worse, remove yourself from the conversation or ask them to change the subject.
- Get plenty of sleep. See your doctor if you need help sleeping.
- Exercise regularly
- Eat right
Don’t:
- Don’t minimize your pain—accept it for what it is (normal)
- Don’t attempt to cope by increasing your alcohol consumption or other drug use
- Don’t isolate yourself. Just being around people is often helpful, whether you are talking about the event or not.
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your teachers.
- Don’t hesitate to seek counseling. You don’t have to feel “crazy” to benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes friends and family get worn out, but counselors are trained to listen for as long as you need.
As Time Goes By
You may notice that, in yourself and others, feelings and behaviors will change over the next few weeks and months. Some of these changes may be disconcerting, but they are very normal. There is no timeframe for working through grief and trauma. There is no set time at which you should be “over it.” So, if you start feeling something new or feel worse weeks or even months from now, don’t be surprised. These are very typical reactions. You may notice that certain days are worse, such as anniversaries (one week after, one month, one year), holidays, commencement, returning to school in the Fall, and so on. At such times, it is important for you to accept your feelings, and reach out to others for support.
What You Can Do for Others
- Accept their feelings
- Don’t judge their reactions or comments
- Be supportive
- Listen without pushing someone to tell more than they’re ready to
- Listen without telling your own story, or making it about you
- Take care of yourself. Don’t try to be a counselor.
- Encourage others who seem especially troubled to seek professional help.
What if I Feel Really Bad?
If you or someone you know is experiencing extreme symptoms--that is, if someone’s normal activities are severely impaired (can’t get out of bed, seems to be re-living the event or out of touch with reality; anger seems severe and may pose a danger), or if they continue to show strong signs of these reactions over several weeks, seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
Only a qualified mental health professional can determine whether someone is experiencing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or other mental health conditions. If you suspect this is the case for you or someone you know, seek professional help. Sometimes, exposure to a traumatic incident will result in symptoms such as depression and anxiety, or worsen these symptoms in people with pre-existing conditions. These kinds of reactions can be treated. Please do not hesitate to contact a mental health professional on the VT campus or in your area for help, whether now or in the coming weeks and months.
To ask other questions or to make an appointment here at the Family Therapy Center,
just call us at 231-7201. We are offering free therapy to Tech students, faculty, and staff related to the April 16th shootings, and we have a sliding scale for any other concerns. We've also listed other campus and local resources you may wish to explore below, as well as Tech's Northern Virginia family therapy clinic in Falls Church, and TherapistLocator.net, which can help you find a trained marriage and family therapist anywhere in the U.S., Canada, and even some foreign countries.
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